The Downside
by PageJustice
Summary: Just one-shots, really. Perverted thoughts and costume parties, among other things. Requests/prompts are gladly accepted.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone. Sadly...

I'm not sure how this'll turn out, so...have fun? It whole 'perverted' thing worked better with Iggy...

* * *

The Downside…

I looked at Dimitri from the corner of my eye. Lissa and Christian were in the room in front of us, and we were standing guard, like the amazing Guardians we were.

Actually, I was on verge of asking Dimitri if he wanted to play poker or something. Lissa may be my best friend, but standing outside her and Christian's bedroom door was just…awkward.

The vibe I was getting from Dimitri was _begging_ me not to ask the question that was on both of our minds, but me being my usual self, it was inevitable.

"What do you think they're _doing_ in there?" I whispered, leaning against the wall and squinting at the door like I could see through it. I had a pretty good idea what they were doing, though…

"Just leave them be, Rose." Dimitri sighed, resting his head against the wall. I frowned at him.

"Aren't you just a _little _bit curious, Dimitri?"

"Not in the slightest."

"So, if I," I walked over to the door and pressed my ear to it, "listened in, you wouldn't want to hear?"

"No, Rose, I wouldn't."

I waved my hand at Dimitri to shush him, trying to listen. I heard faint voices from the other side.

"I can't believe this!" That was Lissa's voice, I was sure.

"I know. This is never going to work, Lissa. It'll never fit." And that was Christian.

Intrigued, and a little freaked out, I motioned for Dimitri to come over to the door. My facial expression must've tipped him off that I wasn't joking around, because he joined me.

"It's just too _big_ Christian! It'll never fit in here. We have to find a wider place." Lissa again.

"Where do you suggest? We could put it in further up here."

Dimitri looked at me slowly, mouthing, "Are they…?"

I sent him a shrug, my stomach twisting. This was like a car crash—it was so horrible, but you couldn't look away.

"Well, before we even start this, I need you to hand me that," Christian's voice came again. There was a moment of silence as something shuffled. There was a creak of bedsprings and an intake of breath.

"Christian! Oh my god, you got that all over me! That's going to stain, you know."

"Sorry. Next time, don't hold it like that."

I glanced at Dimitri, his look of horror identical to my own.

"Whatever," Lissa muttered. "Now, back to before. If we put your thing right in here, then we can fit the other one back here."

"What? No! That'll never work either. We have to put this one that way and just shove that right in there."

"Wha—OW! Great job, Christian, now I'm bleeding!"

"Oh, shit! Sorry, Lissa. Here, I'll go get something."

Out in our hallway, Dimitri and I slowly backed away from the door. My stomach felt like it was about to empty its contents. Dimitri looked the same. He even looked _green_. I'd never actually seen him look green before.

"Hey, you two." We both looked towards the end of the hallway where Abe was strolling through. He had a glass in his hand filled with amber liquid. "What's wrong with you guys? You look like you just watched a bad porno." He chuckled at his own joke.

"Very funny, Old Man, very funny," I muttered. Dimitri put a hand over his mouth like he was about to vomit. He probably was.

Abe sent him an odd look. "Okay, then…you guys have fun doing…whatever it is you're doing…" He continued walking down the hallway.

"That was…actually extremely unpleasant," Dimitri said, his voice hoarse. "We don't listen in to anyone's conversations anymore, alright?"

I nodded. I may love Lissa like a sister, but that was…too much.

"Do you think maybe we're just being perverted and they weren't really doing anything?" Dimitri asked. I looked at him and nodded vigorously.

"Because I want to sleep without nightmares, no, they weren't doing anything. We're just perverts."

***A few minutes earlier in Lissa's and Christian's room***

"I can't believe this!" Lissa hissed, looking down at the papers in front of her. She and Christian were sitting on the bed, looking over blue-prints of the palace's grounds.

Christian shook his head. "I know. This is never going to work, Lissa. It'll never fit." He pointed to the statue that the grounds keepers wanted to put in next to visitor dorms. It would take up too much space.

Lissa pulled at the ends of her hair in frustration. "It's just too _big _Christian! It'll never fit in here. We have to find a wider place."

Lissa searched the blue-prints for more available space to put the statue.

"Where do you suggest? We could put it in further up here." Christian motioned to a spot by the gates.

"Well, before we even start this, I need you to hand me that," Christian said, motioning to the glass of blood on the table beside Lissa. Plotting statues made him thirsty. As Lissa was handing it to him, it slipped from their grasps, its contents spilling onto Lissa's dress.

"Christian! Oh my god, you got that all over me! That's going to stain, you know." She huffed, holding the sticky fabricate away from her body. She glared at her boyfriend.

"Sorry. Next time, don't hold it like that." Christian shrugged. She had been holding it funny.

"Whatever," Lissa muttered. "Now, back to before. If we put your thing right in here, then we can fit the other one back here." Being Queen, she had made a memorial for the Ozera family. She wanted it to go in front of the permanent housings. She could put the other statue behind the other dorms.

"What? No! That'll never work either. We have to put this one that way and just shove that right in there." Christian took the blue-print, spinning it around to face himself. As he did, the edge of the paper caught Lissa's finger and cut it. Paper cut.

"Wha—OW! Great job, Christian, now I'm bleeding!" Lissa held up her finger.

"Oh, shit! Sorry, Lissa. Here, I'll go get something." Christian got off the bed, rushing to the bathroom to get a tissue.

Neither of them were aware of Rose and Dimitri in the hallway.


	2. Chapter 2

"Rose—"

"No."

"Rose, please just—"

"I won't go if you don't."

"You're acting like a child—"

"Then maybe you shouldn't have fallen hopelessly in love with me."

"Can you just be reasonable about—"

"There's nothing more to discuss, Mr. Belikov."

"I could always call Lissa about this—"

"Which would mean I won."

"And we both know you hate to lose."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Exactly what I said."

"That doesn't even—hey! Get back here, I wasn't finished with you!"

"There's nothing more to discuss."

"You have to go, Dimitri."

"No; _you_ have to go. Lissa's orders."

"But you're my Plus One."

"I don't go to costume parties, _Roza_."

"With me you do."

"But—"

"Please?"

"I'll go—"

"YES!"

"—but I'm not wearing that ridiculous costume."

"But you have to! I can't just go alone in mine or else I'll look like an idiot!"

"Well—"

"Don't even say it."

"I wasn't going to—"

"Just…please? I have to go because of Lissa, and backup never hurt any Guardian."

"Rose…"

….

"Fine. I'll do it."

"Thank you, wonderful, wonderful man! I love you dearly with all my heart. You are the only reason for my existence. You are a God. You are my soul and heart and eternal love."

"I'm going to regret this."

* * *

He was adamant about keeping the duster, and I didn't protest since it matched the rest of his costume. The Stenson, the suspenders, the boots, gold metal star and a gun holster. He'd blatantly refused the red bandana. He argued that the whole costume would hinder his fighting skills, in case of an emergency. I argued that he'd at least look badass as a cowboy, and it was okay because I could fight in anything (even a western dress and heels).

Oh, yes, I had high hopes riding on this party.

* * *

Note:

So the first thing that came into my head when someone said to write more VA (thanks for the motivation, by the way!) was Cowboy!Dimitri. So. There.


	3. Chapter 3

Stop.

_Warning: title has almost nothing to do with the story. _

Continue.

* * *

**Violence, Airport Security, and a Flying Guardian**

Rose glanced at the guy beside her with disinterest and attempted to telepathically shoo him away.

It didn't work.

"Hey, can I get you a drink?"

"No."

"Aw, c'mon baby, don't be like that, it'll just be one."

She rolled her eyes and didn't bother pointing out that it was only six o'clock. The sun wasn't even down yet, and either way, after the incident at the Halloween party, she'd refrained from consuming alcohol altogether.

Dimitri had been mad at her for The Incident.

No sex for a week.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!"

"I don't care," Rose muttered, swiveling on her bar stool to scan the crowds of the airport again. She knew she wouldn't see him—his flight had just landed and he was probably stuck getting luggage—but it gave her a reason to ignore the man beside her. He smelled like road kill.

"Listen, you—" the man grabbed her shoulder to spin her back around.

She sighed in pleasant relief that she now had a valid excuse. No one could get mad at her for self-defense, right?

She broke his wrist and nose and he might've hit his head hard enough to give himself a concussion on the way down. Rose thought that the last one was the perfect touch.

They kicked her out of the restaurant, but that was okay. He was probably making his way towards her already, and she'd been getting restless, just sitting there.

She saw him, finally, and he glanced up from his phone just in time to catch her eyes. They both shared a smile, and she weaved faster through the crowd to spring at him.

Rose hit the solid wall that was Dimitri and smiled as she buried her face in his shoulder. And _breathed_.

"Hello, _Roza._"

"Hi."

His laughter was sent rumbling into her, and she ignored the muttered complaints about the couple standing in the middle of the crowd to stretch on her toes and plant her lips on his.

They didn't pull back until a security guard tapped them both on a shoulder and reminded them they were in a public place.

Rose happily broke away and tugged Dimitri with her, to the waiting car that would take them back to St. Vladimir's.

The wedding of the Queen was a big deal, after all. Wouldn't want to miss it.


End file.
